It's everyone's problem

It’s everyone’s problem

If you haven’t watched this episode of Australian Story, about Charmaine Dragan, I advise you to watch it before reading on.

It’s something that society encounters very often, but it’s not dealt with properly by any facet of society, as it’s something that’s dismissed by even the best trained practitioners, and either understood or not truly felt. It still doesn’t rate, in the opinion of some, as a problem, yet it claims lives, causes economic loss, emotional hardship, the breakup of families, the destruction of potential, an enormous ripple effect that doesn’t heal, and leaves a horrific scar amongst those affected. This is chronic depression and, at its worst, suicide.

It’s such an easy thing to dismiss. There are those days that we are down and out, can’t be bothered, grumpy at something, whatever the reason. Maybe you didn’t sleep properly, some idiot nearly killed you when they drove too close to you one afternoon (as somebody did one afternoon on the way home and intentionally ran close to the kerb for no apparent reason but to try to run me over for kicks). But then, there are those that this problem becomes a rollercoaster ride, day in, day out, and it’s not just having down days occasionally, but become a chronic, day to day thing:

When the morning seems fine, but within the space of an hour the world has come crashing down around you. When a façade of happiness is an act to hide the reality that resides within the mind. When there are days that getting out of bed even to not go to work, but sit at home and mope, is too much of an effort. When some days they work to the point of exhaustion. When there is a horrible sense of loss as the friends leave after a wonderful day. When there is a desire to seek out the most simple of happy moments to make the day bearable, or much more enjoyable, or there is a indulgence on pleasureable things in life (such as physical enjoyment, etc.). When their attention to detail and their desire for perfection reaches a point that seems narcissistic. When critique of themselves proves to be greater than the critique itself, and that really, it shouldn’t be. When the friends, family, work colleagues all have a piece of a puzzle, yet none of them could make up the whole picture. When the person feels that they are a massive burden on all the people around them, and it is better to cauterize or remove the problem, which is them. These, and many more things, are examples of what it’s like. Words can’t describe the feeling, that sensation that physical, the machinations of the mind, that someone goes through while being chronically depressed. It doesn’t come through on paper, it doesn’t come through while talking. Think freefalling eternally without a parachute, and then the floor suddenly appearing.

It’s fun to joke about them, or dismiss them as something that’s in the mind. Yet explain to me why there are branches of science and medication devoted to the study and treatment of it? Why then, do pharmaceutical companies make millions on the prescriptive drugs that assist in the treating of it? Why then, do people still engage in acts of violence against themselves, people they love and that trust them, or they trust? It becomes clear then, that it’s not really that much of a laughing matter, to dismiss as something that can be worked on easily and will disappear, or even to be lambasted after a period of time. The reality is that most people that are chronically depressed, will be so for a very long period of time, maybe for the rest of their lives. It’s not a joke. It’s not funny. It’s not something that can be shoved under the carpet, dismissed, disregarded, discarded. It’s not something that people snap out of. It’s not something that will disappear. It is something that is real. It is something that takes an enormous amount of time. It is something that may never go away. It is something that the sufferers know causes immense stress on their relationships, and has enormous regrets about. It is something that is self-magnifying, self-destructive, self-compounding. It is something that nearly all sufferers can coming from a million miles away, yet, as a moth is inexorably drawn to a flame, cannot stop themselves from doing.

So what is this message about? Think about what you say, how you act, what you do around the people that you know, or suspect, of having a depressive illness. For them, they feel that they’re walking on glass around you all the time. Keep an eye out on yourselves about how you feel, or how they feel. It’s about reaching out to all around you, not in the superficial, pat on the back manner, or the intellectual engagement manner. It’s about listening to the real you. It’s about seeing the danger signs and reading them properly, and dealing with them effectively.

It’s also about how close to home it can touch for us. A high school colleague’s younger sister committed suicide years ago, and another instance occurred at the same school during my years at school too. More recently, about 4 years ago, a work colleague that was well known by many students and staff members at Monash University threw herself in front of a train. Why she was well known was because she had been the president of the Student Association during my time there, and she reflected everything that has been written here. She was a high achiever, happy, bubbly, smiling person, with everything to live for. But she took her own life.

But why write this? Because I’ve been there, and I’m still there.

God bless you all.