Society and women

I’ve been recently watching a show on television called Californication, and most people that would read this would look at me and say “you’ve been watching what?”, as a response to the gratuitous sex scenes, the misogynistic tone of the episodes, the occasional brilliant bit of dialogue interspersed with more average writing. What is missed, however, are some of the issues and questions that are being asked. In one scene, the main character, Hank Moody, asks the question: “Why is the city of angels (LA) so hell bent on destroying its female population?” This morning, I thought, “Why is the world so hell bent on destroying its female population?

Last night I had a fantastic time with a group of old friends at a Turkish restaurant. It was a night of average food, good conversation, good alcohol (of which I had very little) and good hookah (sheesha). But in between the conversation the males had an intriguing time engaging (specifically with their eyes) the members of the opposite sex. Not the ones on our table, mind, but the others that kept on flitting by our table - be it behind our seats, or across our window vantage point. I enjoyed myself immensely, being the chauvinistic, bitter male that I was last night, although it probably didn’t win me any accolades amongst my peers. In the cold light of morning, I begin to wonder why that we’ve reduced women to an object to be obtained and not understood.

We’ve been brought up in a consumer society, throwaway objects, replaceable devices, buy and buy and buy. Is that now applying to our emotional development as well? Men and women are taught to be more masculine, more feminine, more concerned about how they look, what they wear, what they smell like, how beautiful they are, what is the right bodyshape, what is the wrong bodyshape, what is healthy, what is not, blah blah blah. To achieve this, we consume. Self help books, diet foods, exercise programs with personal trainers, this season’s clothes, next season’s fads, the next big thing, casual sex, one-night stands, alcohol by the barrel, drugs by the line or bag. It’s all about consuming. Unfortunately, does that mean that we become consumers in building something as simple as a relationship?

Women are especially placed in a tough position. Unfortunately, we live in a chauvinistic world. Both sexes glorify and vilify the other in a variety of ways, but the method of how women are portrayed in this new world of ours places this unimaginable pressure on women to conform to an image of what guys would like, forcing them to do crazy stuff such as starve, deny and potentially destroy themselves. Post traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, suicide, rehab clinics, drug overdoses. These are things that, while they may have existed, are more prevalent now than ever before. How possible is it for anyone, male or female (but especially female) to be able to attempt to conform and feel good about themselves, while consuming at a vast rate, and also have a healthy relationship with another person? When it becomes too hard, do we just discard the relationship? It surely feels that way as I delve deeper into understanding the world that I live in. If it doesn’t work, we chuck it, and you apply the same mentality to your TV as you would to someone that you love, cherish, and hope to have a future with.

And why is it also that, across the world, that women are the ones made to suffer? The developed and developing world places unimaginable pressures on women to be in the image of women that men glorify or “worship”, while women in other societies are trampled on through religion, abuse, traditional customs, slavery, rape, torture, assault, in general a loss of any human rights and dignity? Haven’t we gone far enough in destroying women as people that stand side-by-side with men and crushing any hope and dignity that they have in their self affirmation and right to equality? Are women and men not capable anymore of engaging in a circle where both are seen to share the same circle, both with different roles, but half of a full circle, and willing to make the commitment instead of consuming their relationship and then discarding it when the first trouble decides to hit? I sometimes do wonder.